20 June 2007

Catching Up

It’s only Wednesday – it’s only been 5 days – and already I feel behind on just about everything.

It’s an illusion. I’m not behind – I’m actually ahead, and I just have to help myself admit it.

I had big plans: I was going to clean my desk. I was going to go through and organize a massive slew of digital photos that I dumped off the camera in a panic about 5 months ago when I needed to take some new pictures and the chip was too full. I was going to do a variety of other, similar activities that don’t consume a lot of brainpower and can be done in small chunks that nonetheless accomplish much.

I also, desperately, want to write down the order and flow of life from last Thursday through Sunday before that time, too, becomes more memory than reality.

A few things have happened, a few others haven’t. I’m learning to accept it.

It’s easy because at 2:21pm last Friday, June 15th, the world changed forever. Not just my world, or our world, but the world. Our daughter arrived, a healthy 7.11 pounds, with all the necessary body parts (including a healthy set of lungs, which she has made a point of testing out periodically) and a face that radiates beauty, happiness, and love. Radiates it – and reflects it every time we look at her.

And yes, that is the world that changed because every child does it: every child becomes part of a chain reaction, the long line of “amor fati” that they contribute to and participate in, the life in which they may experience some pain (but we hope not) but in which they also provide joy, goodness, and love in abundance. All of that, each little piece, if it affects one person it affects the world.

So I’m behind, but I’m not sure I care. I’d rather spend time with my darling little girl, enjoying the days now that already seem to pass too fast (exhausting though they may be).


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